REALISTIC COLLEGE AU MEME, 2K17

[dinosaured]

I. living conditions

01. my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
02. all our friends are drunk
03. we live in halls opposite one another and i keep seeing you change in the window please close your blinds
04. you’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
05. you’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
06. clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
07. you peed on my car. you were drunk. I was in the car. there will be hell to pay.
08. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
09. sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
10. my roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire

II. chance meeting

01. it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
02. waiting outside for pizza to be delivered but both of ours is super late
03. I know I keep coming to this [cookie/coffee/etc.] shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need this for my sanity
04. I found your USB drive still in the computer (and potentially regret finding out what's on it)
05. you decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
06. your school mailbox is right next to mine
07. what do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?

III. campus community

01. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
02. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
03. we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
04. humans vs zombies, all bets are off, friendships mean nothing
05. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
06. we’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
07. what are you doing at this table at the career fair
08. I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
09. my computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
10. we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
11. you’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance

IV. credit hour woes

01. hey I have to [photograph/draw blood/film/insert major here] someone for class, will you be my guinea pig
02. we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
03. group project
04. both of us turned up to the wrong room for this lecture and neither of us know where it's supposed to be
05. we’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
06. wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
07. waiting for office hours
08. we started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
09. vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room

V. limited resources

01. you keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
02. you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole
03. you're the only person in the room when i break the printer and i'm panicking (so don't be a dick about it please)
04. neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
05. this awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
06. you keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
07. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
08. you’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline
09. we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
10. can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash

MUSELIST

Comments

[punshots]

[ And then the power went out.





Just kidding. The power stays on, and those dolls keep singing! Think of the millions of times this song has been sung in these halls...chilling, really. ]

I'd knock on wood if I could! Guess I'll just have to settle - [ He knocks on the side of the boat. ]

Wouldn't that be kind of wild, though? My first ride in Disney World and the power goes out...it'd be a great story.

[adelphoi]

[ prompto... PROMPTO...

with a sour look, alisaie lifts a hand and just.. gently presses her fingertips to his mouth.. shh child, shh... ]

If these lights go out, I will push you right out of this boat.

[ threatened so very sweetly.. ]

[punshots]

[ Ah, an Alisaie Threat, be still his heart... ]

I'm sure they won't!

...Probably!

[ But look! They're almost to the end. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Literally. ]

[adelphoi]

[ and he's still pushing it, even despite the threat!! ah he's so lucky that they make it through to the end, because she may very well made good on that threat had it actually come to that.

but no, they're escaping!! thank god, her ears are ringing. ]

I should make you ride these alone, you know.

[ ah the boat has stopped, PLEASE FREE HER ]

[punshots]

[ Wow, she sure is just about jumping out of the boat as they dock, isn't she? Chuckling, Prompto steps out behind her, and they make their way up the walkway towards the tea cups. ]

Now, where would the fun be in that?

[adelphoi]

[ she would say it is less about fun and more about punishment, but alas, even her threats are paper thin today. it's impossible to be angry in disney world, with your boyfriend..

but teacups here they come. the fast lane for this one is even quicker, unsurprisingly. ]

Are you ready to make good on your boast?

[ she's gonna have so many regrets.. ]

[punshots]

[ They're practically ushered right onto the ride, and Prompto makes a beeline for this sick-looking purple cup. He has a good feeling about that one... ]

You bet I am! It's time to put these guns to work!

[ I am not going to use that icon because it doesn't really make sense here, but cue some unnecessary and gratuitous arm flexing, Prompto is proud of his hard work and now it will pay off in the form of cup-spinning. ]

[adelphoi]

[ ah. her greatest weakness, the guns.. it's okay i will imagine the icon in my mind's eye, yeah good shit. she's embarrassingly distracted for a moment before she gets ahold of herself and clambers into the cup behind him, tugging the little door shut.

there is nothing sick looking about this purple cup, prompto, you enormous dweeb, unless you count the fact that it's likely been puked in several times. ]

Impress me.

[ because her noodle arms aren't going to be all that much help here. she's definitely strong for her size but that size is still very small..

yeah, she's definitely going to regret this. ]

[punshots]

[ heh heh...the guns, they work every time. Don't think he doesn't notice her staring!!

But okay, the ride is starting, and so he goes to work. He grabs onto that wheel in the middle of the cup and starts to turn it as fast as he can. I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it! ]

I bet I can get it going even faster!

[adelphoi]

[ for her part, alisaie snags the wheel as well, pulling hard, but oh god, it's already spinning so fast, she's definitely going to regret it. ]

No, no!

[ she shouts through a squeal of laughter, her eyes squeezing shut. but i mean, that no really means 'spin faster' amirite. ]

[punshots]

[ Yeah, that definitely sounded like "spin faster" to his ears!

And so he does. He spins the wheel even tighter, a laugh gusting out of him at the sight of her face. ]

Still goin' strong!

[adelphoi]

[ nooooo this is the worst.. how can he find this fun..

at this point she's just dissolved into mindless screeches, and she's not really spinning the wheel so much as trying to simply cling to it for her life.. when will this torture end, when will she be released from this purgatory of spinning..

nevermind, she now hates his arms, they bring her only torture. ]

[punshots]

[ WHEN THE RIDE'S DONE, SHE WILL.

...Which is relatively soon, because it's not a very long ride. Still, he's got this cup absolutely whirling when the ride starts to slow down, and admittedly, Prompto is feeling a bit dizzy himself. Okay, maybe he...went a little overboard...

Not that he's about to say as much. He's too busy laughing raucously, anyway. ]

[adelphoi]

[ the ride at last grinds to a halt, though it may as well still be moving for all her vision continues to spin, the world tilting, a whirl of riotous color, and all of it underlined by prompto's sadistic cackling.

LET HER OUT OF THIS DEATH TRAP.. with a low groan alisaie fumbles with the little door, clambers out of this stupid purple torment cup, takes two steps and immediately falls right onto her face.

rip merry christmas you killed your girlfriend ]

[punshots]

[ Oh no, she's dead. It was nice while it lasted...his ticket is still good for the rest of the week, right?

But no, this is actually quite alarming, and Prompto squawks with panic as Alisaie faceplants. OH MY GOD...WHAT HAS HE DONE...CURSE THESE GUNS OF HIS, HE'S DONE IT NOW

Stooping immediately to her side, he scoops his arms around her before any of the cast members rush over to see what's going on. Nothing to see here, please disperse! ]

Alisaie! A-a-are you okay? Please, speak to me!

[adelphoi]

[ she's dead jim, hope it was worth it

but okay she's really not, she's only super hecken dizzy, still disoriented even when he's tugging her into his arms. she's blinking hard, waiting for the horizon to stop tilting. god this is really embarrassing.. ]

I-I'm.. all right, yes.

[ except for this nosebleed. ]

Let's - let's go.

[ she's already scrambling unsteadily to her feet PEOPLE ARE WATCHING WE NEED TO VACATE, PROMPTO.. ]

[punshots]

[ EVACUATE THE PREMISES the need to move is not lost on him, and Prompto is quick to slide one of her arms around his shoulders so he can help her towards the ride exit. As he does so, he glances cursorily at her face - oh, geez, is she bleeding? She's totally bleeding.

This is an unmitigated disaster and he's the worst boyfriend on the planet. ]

Do you - I mean - [ WHAT DOES HE DO, WHERE DOES HE GO NOW, is this how she felt when she hit him in the face with an air hockey puck??? It's a horrible feeling, he regrets each and every time he teased her about it.... ]

Bathroom? First aid? The hospital?!

[adelphoi]

[ yeah i mean that's basically exactly how she felt when she nailed him with that puck.. even worse because they weren't even dating so the humiliation was real. she was so sure she'd ruined any chance she ever had with him.. but apparently he's a boy who is okay with getting whacked in the face with a hard puck if it's from a cute girl.

tho i mean.. she's also humiliated right now too so.. alas. ]

Oh good God, no -

[ the hospital?? she's not bleeding that bad.. it's a healthy nosebleed!! but not unstoppable. she can hide most of it behind her hand. still, she leans heavily on him anyway, mostly because she's still so, so dizzy and tripping over her own feet.. rip. ]

Bathroom is fine.

[punshots]

[ Look, he doesn't know the proper course of action here!! There's no campus instant care unit they can go to. Is there a first aid kit in Mickey's house? He doesn't know! He's completely out of his depth.

Fortunately, the Magic Kingdom is well-marked with signs, and there's a bathroom just around the corner. He moves with her quickly - but gently - towards it, stammering out apologies the whole way.

It's a shame they came all the way to Disney World only so she can dump him now for this... ]

[adelphoi]

[ i mean, he still wanted to go on a date with her after she literally decked him with an air hockey puck, so i mean.. he gets this one get out of breakup card. next bloody nose tho and he's dumped. ]

It's fine, Prompto, it's fine -

[ she says, muffled behind her bloody hand, trying her very best to not draw attention to herself, which is admittedly very difficult in a place like disney world, while she's bleeding and being hovered around by a protective helicopter boyfriend.

the sooner she slips into the bathroom the better.. please don't follow her!! ]

[punshots]

[ It's not fine??? Thank goodness for that get out of breakup free card, it would have really put a damper on the whole once-in-a-lifetime vacation thing.

He at least has enough sense to not follow her into the bathroom, instead pacing feverishly just outside. He looks up pointedly at every person as they emerge, but no sign of Alisaie yet. What if she passed out in there? What if she's lying on the floor, bleeding out, with everyone else just stepping over her??

He's going to start a fire at this pace. ]

[adelphoi]

[ while he paces a rut into the ashpalt, alisaie iss hurriedly cleaning herself up, wiping her nose and chin and washing her entire face just to be safe. it's still bleeding a little, so she stuffs paper towels against it and tilts her head back for a few minutes to give herself the chance to breathe, anyway.

so no, she's not passed out from nasal hemorrhaging, while people and small children callously step over her, but she still loops a little sheepish nevertheless when she finally emerges, cleaned up, with a paper towel still pressed to her face, just in case. don't mind the droplets of blood on her collar.. ]

Well. Whad nao?

[ her voice sounds stupid now.. BUT SHE'S TRYING TO ACT NORMAL.. ]

[punshots]

[ He totally notices the blood on her collar, and normally, he might snort with laughter at how her voice sounds - it's still kind of funny, admittedly - but he values his life, and his relationship, so he doesn't draw attention to either thing.

Instead, he carefully winds his arm around her shoulder again, exhaling quietly as he guides her away from the bathroom and the, uh, tea cups. Never again... ]

Uhh...how about something nice 'n' slow?

[ She'll know better than he does... ]

[adelphoi]

[ it's fine prompto, stop fussing, they're even now..

but nice and slow sounds good, after that.. whirlwind. they've already exhausted the small world ride though, which is the slowest she can think of, but an idea strikes her anyway, and she can't help her grin when she glances up toward him again. ]

The Haunted Mansion is rather good.